36  102            1672.

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Goodman Millers Letter read in y^e Church at Rowley Novemb 3 1672

 Revren^d & much honoured

I have received some considerable time since a letter from y^r Reverend

Pastor for w^ch I desier to be thankfull to him, & have fore me cause to bless y^e

Lord, who hath y^e hearts & bowells of all in his hands y^t he hath & I hope in much

mercy for my poor soul moved his & your hearts still towards me, who am de

servedly cast out as abominable from y^t comfortable heart refreshing fellow

ship w^ch I sometimes injoyed w^th you, yea w^ch is farr greater that decreed[104]

forever to be deprived not only of y^r compassions heer, but of the bosome fel

owship of God father S & holy gh. throwout all eternity: Therfore not dareing

to rest in soe dreadful a state any longer, for whoseover hardenth his heart agaynst

me sayth the lord shall never prosper, I have throw grace made it my conti

nuall prayer to y^e god of mercy y^t if it be his holy will to give me a heart

full of sound Repentance & deep humiliation for the great dishonour I have

brought to his glorious name, together w^th y^e violation of that Solemn

& dreadfull covenant w^ch I entered into w^th yourselves: To y^t end I have

made bold at y^s time, not being able to goe from home w^thout indangering

the comfort of my self & family

I therfore at y^s time as y^e lord shall inabl me though w^th much weakness & lev

ity from my self; give you an account of y^e lords grace towards me in shewing

mee y^e horrid Evill of my Sin: When I lay w^th chaynes upon mee in the

prison, the lord was pleased to bring mee somewhat to consider what I had don

& wher I was, w^ch some short time before I little minded, & was alsoe

pleased to shew me by y^e convictions of my conscience, together with y^e

terrors of his righteous law y^t I did not onely deserve to be in chains here

but to be in everlasting chains of darkness to all eternity: In y^e midst of thes

flames of conscience I took notice of y^t dreadfull Text In 2 Prov. 19 none that

goe unto her return again, neither take y^y hold of the pathes of life which

caused me to conclude that y^r was noe mercy to be found for soe vile a

Wretch as I was, Satan then setting in confirmed y^e same to me & that it was

to noe end for me to look for pardon, & that my sin was soe great not a

sin of ignorance but wittingly & willing against the light of my own Conscience:

Yet y^e lord was pleased to give me some poor measure of strength from y^t promise if

I resist him he should fly from me, & from thence was the lord pleased to lead

me into my heart to se the vileness that was lodging ther, that after I had

fallen away soe farr from him, y^t yet I would be going farther as to questi

=on y^e never fayling compassions & grace of y^t god against whom I had sinnd

at y^t time god brought y^t place to my mind in y^e 3 Jer 12 13. Return thou

backsliding Israel sayth y^e lord & I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you

for I am mercifull sayth y^e lord and I will not keep anger for ever. Onely

acknowledg thine iniquity that thou hast transgressed against y^e lord thy God

from y^r y^e lord was pleased to shew me that ther was yet hope of pardon for

y^s my great transgression, & to convince me y^t y^r was no other way to it

but by my returning to y^e lord my God & by acknowledging my iniquity before

him, y^t I have transgressed, which throw grace y^e lord gave mee a heart in

some poor measure to doe. Alsoe I received comfort from y^t sweet & gratious

invitation to All weary & heavy laden sinners to come unto the lord Jesus

and they shall find soul rest: ffrom this the Lord was pleased