Ebenezer Parkman’s Sermons “of Children” (1738)

of Children.

N.B. A General recapitulation together with part of the Duty of Parents—December 23, p.m., 1750.

Westborough, May 7, a.m., 1738.

____ 21, a. and p. m.

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In Discoursing upon the words I Shall Consider

First, The Duty of Children to their Parents; and then

Secondly, The Arguments which perswade them to it.

The Duty of Children to their Parents, which is expressed in these Two Words, Obey and

I.

Honour. This Shews what the Duty consists in, and we may mark first who they are that are to Yield this Honour and Obedience. Children as Early as they can learn to, they Should be taught it and required to yield it: Their young minds Should be immediately possessed with the Fear of God and the Honour due to their Parents. Again, how old soever they are yet as long as they are Children they owe this. They are never freed from this Law, although when they are come to be of age, there are some respects in which they are more free and at Liberty, than whilst they were under Age; particularly [these words are part of a marginal addition that may be continued on p. 2—if that page is extant]

[missing p. 2]

[The following material is an extension of a marginal note that appears on p. 3—extended, presumably from p. 2.] piously, and with an holy Aim to please God therein. For this Obedience and Honor must not be only Natural or prudential, but Christian and Religious, flowing out of a Principle of Conformity to the Divine Will. This Phrase, in the Lord, may likewise be a proper Limiting and Qualifying that other passage wherein the Apostle makes this Complyance and Regard to be Universal. Obey your Parents in all Things, that is, remembering that it hath been already Said in the Lord. In all Things that are agreeable to the Mind and Word of God. For even Parents them Selves are not to be obeyed in what opposes the will and Law of God. Deut. 33.9. Act. 5.29. Mat. 10.37. But whilst they command agreeable to the word of God Children are to obey them in all Things. Briefly, In the Lord, that is, as the Lord Himself has sat Example, of which [these words at bottom of p. 4:] again, in further procedure. Let us therefore See what the Duty is that contains it, and how we are to understand the Duty of Children.

And here, it

[missing p. 2.]

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First, Children Should manifest their Honour, Reverence and Love to their Parents by the Language they use to and concerning them. They Should Speak to them with Some Title of Respect, according to the Quality they are of. Plain Father, and Mother is too low and rude. When Christ formed a Parable concerning two sons, when he comes to speak concerning him that was disobedient and sets forth what Sort of Expressions he would answer his Father In, He represents it as if that even this son, although he disregarded his Fathers Commands yet thought it too Shamefull a Crime not to give him good words and reverent Titles. Mat. 21, v. 30. I go, Sir. And certainly, adds the grave Divine to whom I am beholden in this [marginal notation: Bishop Hopkins Exposition on the 5th Commandment],1 it is but fit and meet that we should give them the best and most obliging Language who have taught us to Speak, and to please them with our words who have instructed us how to form them. And as when we do speak we ought to speak regardfully, so we Should not multiply our Talk when we are in the presence of our Parents.” Talkativeness being an argument also of Disrespect, and by the answer of the Lips the Heart is tryed and Sounded. Idem ibid. It doth not argue that we very much fear or Reverence Those that we can be abundant in Discourse before. It is the Childrens part to hear their Parents and to learn to conduct them Selves by their Counsel; and not pour out their own Stuff continually. Gen. 49.2. Job. 29.21.22.23. Prov. 23.22. If that Children are Speaking of their Parents, they Should also demonstrate their Esteem and Reverence of them as well as when they are Speaking to them. Especially when they are vertuous and eminent. Prov. 31.28. This passage leads me to

2.

The Second of these particulars. Scil: that Children must Shew and Evidence their Regard for

their Parents by their Carriage and Deportment before and towards them. If we owe a respectful Behavior to any body upon Earth, we do to our Parents. A man that is every so high in Post and Dignity yet ought not to be above this—Children should not fail to remember their Duty in this Article. It is not only good manners that bespeak it that younger ones Should bow before their Elders and Superiors and be uncovered before them but peculiarly it ought to be before their Parents. Should always Put off their

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Hat when they stand in the presence of their Parents, and Should bow before them. But it is not only Nature and good Manners that require this. Religion Demands it. When the Sacred Scriptures record good and commendable Instances, they come with a tacit Command that we should do the like. Joseph, as Great as he was in the Court of the Pharaoh King of Egypt, and though made lord of all his House and a Ruler throughout all the Land of Egypt, was not So high as to either forget or refuse his Dutifull Regards to his Father Jacob. See Gen. 48.12. Again, was there a greater King than King Solomon for Honour and Wealth? Yet he remembers that he is Bathsheba’s Child when She came to Speak to him. Read and Mark his whole Behavior towards her in 1 K. 2.19.

Objection. But why did not our Savior Shew more Regard to His Mother when it was told Him that She was waiting for Him and would Speak with Him? Why did He disown and refuse her in the manner he did? Matth. 12.46. Answer. Christ did neither disown nor neglect her properly Speaking: but prefers His Heavenly Fathers work, and the Salvation of the precious Souls of Men before any natural Relation or the nearest Kindred: He Shews that He must not be interrupted and Disturbed in the middst of His preaching. It was a great Infirmtiy in the Blessed Virgin to be so forward and urgent So out of Season this was. Christ knew her Heart, and He was her Lord and Judge, and not merely her son. Therefore This nothing hinders our utmost Reverence and Regard to our Parents and manifesting it in all proper Speeches and Behaviors. Let us Look back on what has been said.

1.

Let it be Minded How plainly and evidently the word of God is against Childrens Slighting their

Parents; thinking contemptuously of them and driving out that Reverence, Fear and Esteem of them which is their due from those to whom under God they have given Being to. The word of Gold will not allow of this undervaluing them and disregarding them. Especially it frowns upon those who

2.

Secondly, Speak of their Parents with signs of neglect and disrespect; with rude and malepert

[sic] Answers, Saucily reflecting upon them and retorting. How exceedingly these Things are prohibited! In special the boisterous and outragious Belching of the sons of Belial to Dishonour and Disgrace their Parents—How in the Fall of all Such, the word of God stands! And against

3.

Thirdly, All Evil Carriage and Actions of every sort. The Coarse and base treatment which they

give them. The Discourse will farther on exhibit how God’s Anger is very hot

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against Such. At present let me desire Such to Consider that to despise, or to Speak evilly, and to behave untoward or irreverently to their Parents is a grievous Sin in the sight of the Lord, however lightly they have looked upon the matter. Let those who have heretofore been disrespectful be reproved—for such the Sacred Scripture intimates that there Sometimes are who carry it contemptuously—that Mock, etc. Prov. 30.17. And let all that have Parents be exhorted to entertain always an high Value and Esteem for them and to express and demean them Selves with great Regard to them. Let it not be heard from any of your mouths that you have took upon you to word it with your parents or to use any reflecting Speeches, Especially, take heed that you be not guilty of ill Gestures and Behaviors towards them. You may not speak to them without some Tokens of Respect. You may not carry it in that familiar, levelling, undervaluing manner as if they were your Equals. You’l find that God will Himself take notice, and will take such Cognizance of the Matter as to become a strict and severe Judge of it.

These Things being said under the first Head, I proceed to

2. Serm. ii.

The Second Article of the Duty of Children to their Parents which is Obedience and

Submission. Children, Obey your Parents, Saith the Text, which is strengthened by Col. 3.20.2 For in Truth what is all that Honour and Reverence worth that is but formality and destitute of Obedience. What is it but mockery and rather an imposing upon them than really an honouring them in any wise? This Duty is both Active and Passive. And therefore I thus distribute the Duty. It is their actual performance of their Parents Commands, all of them that are not Contrary to the will of God. And their being Satisfyed with their Reasonable Provision and Disposal; and humbly yielding to their Corrections. To be distinct,

1.

First, Children Should perform etc. and ought to Observe their Instructions, and follow their

Directions. The Will of the Parent must be the Law of the Child and is as much bound to conform to it and execute what is required as a Servant to fulfill the Demand of his Master, or as an Apprentice that is under the Bonds of Indentures. In this Children that are under age, and Servants are Equal. See Gal. [blank]. Children Should not presume to Disobey nor resist the Pleasure of their Parents, but Should obey them conscienciously in all their Lawfull Commands. Suppose a Child should not be able to judge that Some particular Commands of their Parents were altogether So fit and proper, or so advantagious and profitable, yet if the Parent Still insists to have it done, the Child may not resist nor cavil, but bend his mind and his Powers to it; and should be very Steddy, Constant, diligent and faithfull in it. How famous were the Rechabites for their Obedience to the commandment of their Father? See Jer. 35.6.3 So when a Father

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or Mother delivers to a Child Counsels and Advices, the Child ought to Pay great Regard thereto, and comply with what is wholsom and wise, and conducive to their truest happiness. Counsel and Instruction are good from any, and greatly to be valued and regarded, but more especially it is to be set by and followed when it comes from a Parent. More especially when Parents give their Commands and Instructions about Religion and the Fear of God. When Abraham Commands His Children it is added, And they shall keep the way of the Lord. Children must. And See Prov. 1.8. My Son, hear the Instruction of thy Father, and forsake not the Law of thy Mother. I do not take those and Such like words of Solomon as if he was Speaking only to his own son. They ought to be taken as being the mind and message of God unto every one that has parents to hearken to, or obey. When therefore Children have such Parents, through the great mercy and goodness of God, as piously Instruct, advise, warn, etc., they ought thankfully and obediently to receive and comply with it; and Should go in the way of understanding, and keep Sound Knowledge and Discretion, etc., etc.

2.

Secondly, Children ought to be satisfyed with their Parents Reasonable Provision and

Disposal. Children ought not to be discontented with their Food, complaining that it is not good enough, and with their Cloths that they are not fine and Costly enough for them who by murmuring and refusing what is appointed for them Shew, its like, that they have that already which they do not deserve. There Should be a meek, quiet, and resigned Heart, and not a proud, haughty, impatient Spirit that can very hardly ever be pleased. See Ps. 130.1.2, which as it Should teach us in General, Humility and submission; so it should in special Children respecting what their Parents do and get for them and allow to them.

There are two more Articles which are of very great Consequence to the Happiness of Children all their Lives, which they need therefore their Parents Care in, and which their Parents have Right to guide and provide for them in. Scil: Their Occupation, and their Marriage; in which great and important Concerns the Children should therefore manifest their Obedience and Resignation to their Parents.

As Parents Should, with great tenderness, wisdom and Faithfulness to their Children, consult their best Advantage and Prosperity as to a Trade, or Occupation for their Children and if they do not teach them their own, Should seek out the best Places, the best Master and Mistresses for them to live with as well as the Suitablest Method of getting their Livelyhood; So Children should manifest an obedient, thankful Conformity thereto. Children should beware of repining and rebelling, in this matter; of undervaluing their Parents Judgment and stubbornly rejecting their Pleasure. But Should willingly and chearfully go about their Busness, Patiently undergo their Labour, and faithfully and Diligently and with their best discretion perform the work they are set about; remembering that God overlooks wherever they are. Thus the Patriarchs fed their Fathers Flock; and when Israel Said to Joseph, come and I will send thee unto them. And he said unto him, Here am I. So he sent him out of the vale of Hebron and he came to Shechem. Gen. 37.12.13.14. Thus also David, though destined to a Kingdom, is yet by his Father Jesse, Ap-

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pointed to keep the Sheep and there he was with them when Samuel the Prophet came to anoint him. See 1 Sam. 16.11. There he was before when Saul sent for him to play upon his Harp before him, v. 19. And his Diligence and constancy at his Bus’ness, and Obedience to his Fathers will and pleasure are evident in Ch. 17.15,17 to 20 v. But to rise to a much higher Example, our great and glorious Savior whilst he was in his Minority and under the Care and Guidance of his Parents, was Subject to them and wrought with his Father at the honest Calling of a Carpenter, and hence he was not only called the Carpenters son, but having, no doubt, Served out his Time, the Carpenter. In this we Should imitate our Blessed Lord, and Submitt our Selves to our Parents.

Again, In the weighty affair of their Marriage Children ought to yield a great Regard to their Parents Disposal of them at least to their wise and kind, affectionate Advice and Direction. For are not Youth light and airy minded and apt to chuse by mere Fancy and to be governed by vain, and carnal Affection, to their Ruin and Destruction many Times? But Parents are more Experienced and guided more by Judgment than by fond Passions, and therefore Children ought not to trust to them Selves in so momentous a Concern, but Should take the Counsel of those whose Happiness is so much bound up in the Comfort and Welfare of their Dear Children. That Parents have Power and Authority in disposing of their Children in Marriage and that it is the Duty of Children to seek to their Parents in this Matter is plainly Evident from Sacred Scripture from both Precept and Example. The Apostle Paul Shews the power of Parents to give their Children in Marriage or to refuse it, in what he saith in 1 Cor. 7.38. And if the Parent hath this Power from God as here it is undeniable they have, then it necessarily follows, and it is implyed that Children ought to Submitt to it. This I speak as to all ordinary Cases: And Children may not plead that the Case is Extraordinary where it is not; and where nothing is wanting but reasonable Self denyal and Obedience and to indulge the folly is then a Sinfull entering into that state which ought to be Sanctifyed by God and Should have both God and our Parents Blessing. As for Example, you’l find that the Patriarch Isaac obediently Submitted to Abrahams Ordering of that matter and directed where he should and where he should not marry. See Gen. 24 and So did Jacob to Isaac’s charge in Ch. 28. Sampson the Judge of Israel, did also Seek the Direction and assistance of his Father and his Mother in this Matter, and did not, as too many ungracious sons now adays, as soon as he saw the woman that pleased him, run and finish the Contract without their Consent. See Judg. 14. However his marriage with a Daughter of the Philistines, one that was not in Covenant with God was Singular and Peculiar, and immediately from God upon a great and remarkable Occasion. See v. 4.

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There is So much the more need of our Young People’s observing this, as this piece of dutiful Respect to Parents has been too frequently of late years passed over.

3.

Another Particular in which Children Should manifest their Submission to their Parents is

in Yielding to their Corrections. It is by the Authority and repeated Command of God that Parents chastize their Children. And it is therefore out of a Sense of Duty that (we must presume) they do it: with a tender and hearty Desire and aim to Save you from Hell and Ruin; and Striving for your highest and best good (as I have I think, hinted before in this Discourse) and therefore they are not to be thought hard of for it but to be meekly and duteously acknowledged; nor are they to be resisted nor rebelled against, no, not even if Children knew that there was infirmity accompanying the Correction. That is, if they Should abuse the Authority God has vested them with by commanding what is not fit, and by Shewing undo wrath and Anger and hard Speaking, yet this doth not dissolve the Obligation to Obedience, Passive at least; but a Child ought to bear their Corrections with Patience and Quietness; hiding and covering their Imperfections, nay, and instead of hating them or resisting them Should give them Reverence. Heb. 12.10. But in Case the Chastizement is Just, and the Parents resentment reasonable, then a Child Should not only patiently receive and submitt to it, but should be thankfull for the Effectual Correction to prevent his undoing, and that his Parents are willing to undergoe the Trouble which they must to correct them. They Should lift up their Hearts to God in earnest Prayer that He would be pleased to Bless and Sanctifie this Discipline, and cause it to do him good. Children must beware of Stubbornness, and dare not to say that it shall loose its End. It is very fearful, presumptuous hardness and Rebellion when Children say with in them Selves that they will be not be [sic] any Thing the better for it, but will harden them Selves and be but the worse. When it comes to this, they had need consider what they are coming to. If they have any fear of God and due regard to their Parents, the Effect of Correction will be very different. It will melt their Hearts; it will bring them to a Sight and sense of their Evil, and it will greatly humble them for it. It should make Children very sorry and grieved that they have offended the infinite God and their Parents; They Should resolve and engage that wherein they have done any wickedness, they will do so no more: They will Set them Selves truely and thoroughly to reform; and they will Seek forgiveness of God and their Parents, and Endeavor to be obedient and faithful ever after that they may not again grieve and provoke them anymore. This is the Duty of bearing Chastizement. But that the Scales may hang even between Parents and Children I will remind you here of Two Things that are most necessary, the

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one for the Parents to observe, the other for the Children and these Things are, both of them most necessary and requisite in order to the right Discharge of these Dutys. They are

First, that as Parents, agreeable to what has been already Said to them of their Duty, in maintaining their Authority and educating and disciplining their Children must keep herein to the Rules of Reason, and to the Law of God. And they must not lay on too heavy Burthens; nor Should they exact unreasonable Labour from them; nor be immoderate in their Infliction of Punishment upon them. And then again on the

Other Side, Secondly, Children Should desire and aim at pleasing their Parents in all that they do. This makes it a Child-like Fear and Obedience differencing it from a Bondslaves; this will give Life and Sweetness into every Thing; and this will be the most Effectual Barrier and security against Transgressing; which then will prevent all severity; at least which will be reasonable or Deserved. Both these Things therefore ought to be diligently observed. But ‘tis Time I proceed to

3.

A Third Article of the Duty of Children to their Parents. Gratitude and Retribution is their Duty

as well as Honour and Obedience. Nay this is necessarily included herein, called for expressly by the word of God and brightly Exemplifyed therein. I will only premise what I mean by this. Now what I here intend is, Childrens doing all that they are able and that their Parents Circumstances call for, by way of Assistance or maintenance, or whatsoever way they can Requite, or Shew them Selves thankful and beholden to their Parents.

1.

First, This Recompence is necessarily included in what the Sacred Scriptures require of

Honouring etc.: For what Child can be thought truly to regard, to love and Esteem a Parent that will see him or her want any Thing he has or can do? Therefore When the Sacred Scriptures Speak of Honouring, it is frequently the plainest Interpretation that by that Honour Maintenance is designed. Ex. gr. 1 Tim. 5.17. Besides which there are also some Number of Places in which the Same Word is used in this Sense. I will single out but one more because it is directly to our purpose, the Supporting of parents when they become aged or necessitous. This is at v. 3 of this last cited Ch.: Honour widows that are widows indeed. This Honour must not be in words merely, and be spent in Pleasing Complements or in Empty Wishes which St. James reproves. Be thou warm etc. But it must be real and Substantial. We may learn it out of Prov. 3.9. Honour the Lord with thy Substance. This is the way we are to Honour our Parents. That

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Sermon iii.

I have now guided you into the right understanding of the word of these Things will be very

Evident by

2.

Secondly, the Express Demand of it in the Word of God and particularly in that passage

but now turned to respecting the Widows. 1 Tim. 5.4. For mind the words immediately following upon what I read. But if any Widow have Children etc. The Injunction is direct and plain that they shall requite their Parents. That is, By love and Affection, and Reverence, by all dutifull and respectful Carriage, by every kind office, and Help; especially by affording all needful Supplys of Food and Cloths and comfortable Lodging and what Soever will be requisite to render Life Sweet and happy to them; agreeable to the Condition which God allotts to each in the world; Should be by those who are Children constantly and cheerfully yielded to them who are their Parents. As to any Doctrine that was among the Jews, to the Contrary; that is the Doctrine of the Scribes and Pharisees that Shewed that in such a Case as a persons making of Some particular Vow he might be excused from any manner of assisting or relieving of his parent; and they were allowed to make such a Vow; and no doubt, how soever it was varnished over with a shew of Godliness and Piety, yet it was done on purpose to cut them Selves off from doing any Thing for their Parents, however infirm or Sickly, or aged or necessitous they were: This Doctrine was greatly complained of by our Savior and He told them that thereby they transgressed the Law of God and made the Divine Commandment of no Effect by their Tradition; for which He Severely reproves them as indeed they very much deserved. Mat. 15. But then mind withall, how forcibly this proves that in the Judgment of Christ Himself who is the great giver of this Law, This is the meaning of it, that if we honour our Father and Mother we must do what is needed and what in us lyes, to help them. And it is what God Commands and Expects from Children to their Parents. Nor is it any other than an abusing and Corrupting the Divine Word to construe it otherwise. It Should now be the Concern of all the Disciples and servants of Jesus Christ so to understand the Divine Precepts as He hath so Strongly Exhibited the right Interpretation of it. But that these Things may have the greater Force we shall

3.

Thirdly See what Example added to Precept will do. Now that which might be the first

mentioned is that of Joseph, who although so great and mighty in Egypt yet disdained not to take knowledge of his Father Jacob, though at that Time Old, and in need of Bread; and he dutifully and tenderly and generously Sustained his Father and his Family with the Good and the Fat of the Land of Egypt, even as long as he Lived. Read his message to his Father to come down to him in Gen. 45.9.10.11. And read the Fulfillment in Ch. 47.11.12. Read also what David did in preserving and Defending his father and Mother, 1 Sam. 22.3.4. I shall need to mention only one more Example because of the Quality of it, which must be enough to recommend and engage our Compliance with it. It is that of our Blessed King and savior who before he left the world concerned Himself for his Dear Mother and provided for her Comfortable Subsistence,

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Committing her to the Special Care of that Disciple whom, if any one of them might be distinguished, he had some very particular Affection for. Joh. 19.26.27. If Christ Jesus would himself condescend to this, it will Shew that it is a Duty that is indispensable: and this Conduct of our Lords towards his Father and Mother Shews that he will have the Duty of Children to their Parents not only to take place as Soon as they can Shew regards to them but continue to the End of their Lives. Yet what vast Affairs were then in that also! But let it be at what season it will, in what Circumstances Soever, and engaged in what He will, He takes Care not to Omitt This! He discharges the Duty of a son as long as he is a son. Certainly We may not neglect it then. That they fall into very great Necessitys and very grievous Infirmitys, even beyond your Power to tend them and maintain them is no argument for Shifting that off which you can do. Nay if a Man hath nothing yet say the Hebrews Doctors, he can beg for his Parents; that they may not go unprovided for.

I will Subjoin to these particulars that as it is the Duty of Children to follow these Sacred Examples, So Should all such as have been illustrious upon this Score be copied after. Bp. Babbington4 records from Valerius, Lib. V, Ch. 4, a Notable Example of a Daughter that nourished her Mother in Prison with her Breasts. And if Heathens, Says he, by the Law of Nature know so much to be their Duty, how much more Christians who have added there unto the Light of God’s word? Nay Such Animals as have only Instinct to guide them yet take this Care, and will not leave their Aged Dams helpless. Thus the Stork, which has her Name from that Natural Affection which she expresses to her Parent, providing for her and feeding her in the Nest which she takes possession of, till she dys. Thus also the Lion when he hunteth for his prey and catcheth it, he roareth and calleth the Old Lion to it, who is not able of himself to hunt or catch it. To this Amos is thought to allude in Ch. 3.4. Now, shall we have less Natural Affection than the Beasts and the Birds and feel less instinct to guide and direct us than they? I cannot leave this Head till I have remarked one Thing further of the Duty of Children to provide, and perform every needful office for their Parents; This is that after they have waited upon them through Life, it is their Duty decently to Bury their Parents. That it was looked upon as an incumbent Duty by the People of Old, is very apparent from what is written in the Gospel of St. Matthew, Ch. 8.21, or St. Luke in Ch. 9.59, of the Excuse one Made against immediately following Christ. It is mentioned as a Plea that was weighty and which in ordinary Cases would be unanswerable. Let me first go and bury my Father. This was remarked of Isaac and Ishmael that they buried Abraham; and did it as his sons; and according to his Commandment, Gen. 25.9, of Jacob and Essau that they buried their Father Isaac, as his sons likewise. Gen. 35.29. What ever these several Sons of sons were, yet this is such a Natural Piece of Duty that even Humanity, and much more Should Religion, Compel to it. But I cannot help turning you again to the Example of Joseph in this also. See Gen. 50.1–13. You see by all this how much even This part of the Childs Duty to his Parent is required and revealed, and what pressing weight the Reasons for it, lye with. I have but One Article more of the Childs Duty to his Parents. This is

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4.

Fourthly, It is the Duty of Children to Imitate the Vertues of their Parents. This Head has

something Implyed in it, and something which I fairly and openly Express. As to the Former, here is Implyed that Children Should Cover and Mend Every Imperfection, every Mis-step which they unhappily Discover in their Parents. Indeed parents ought, as I have Said heretofore, to Conduct them Selves with the utmost Circumspection and as blamelessly as possibly they can before their Children above all persons. They Should let Children See nothing in them but what you may Safely let your Children act after you. It Should be a very perfect Example that Should be set them. Yet whilst we are in this state of Infirmity and sin, the very best are not perfect. Nay, but many Times those that are Parents are a great deal less perfect than they might be. And the Infirmitys of the Mind and of the Body are discovered unto Such as ought to know no other of their Parents than that if they are not absolutely perfect, yet that they are nearest to it. But that

there are so many Infirmitys in Parents Discovered by Children will be the Grief and the Mourning of all serious and wise Parents. But this is the Duty I am now Speaking of, Scil: that when it is unavoidably and unhappily so that Children perceive etc.: Then they ought to beware least they be prompted to prie into it, to make Still further Discoverys thereof; loose that Reverence and Honour which they ought to preserve. They Should beware least they conceive any Joy that they See their Parents Weakness least they mock thereat, and make their Game of it, least they begin to Despise their Parents in any wise; or least they grow impatient therewith. And let them be cautious how they aggravate a Parents Fault, and blaze it abroad. Secrecy and Faithfulness and Tender Compassion is your Duty, O Children; to Conceal it at once; to lessen it and Excuse it as far as justly you may; and overlook it; to help up your Parent to an intire Recovery, and let it be for ever forgotten. Remember what Strong Cautions are contained in those Two remarkable Texts, Prov. 23.22, Gen. 9.22. But on the other Hand be not so partial to your Parents Infirmitys and Errors as to like ‘em, to run into them and practice them. This is not your Duty but will be your Sin, and will be the propagating sin from Generation to Generation. Take great Heed of this therefore, and think not that Such a way is certainly and infallibly good because your Father went in it. If it is not warranted by the word of God, who ever practised it, you must Shun it. For you may not follow them that do Evil. See Jer. 44.16 and onward, Zech. 1.4, Ezek. 20.18.27.30.36. Children may not think to take

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a peculiar Licence therefor and imagine that they may well defend and Excuse them Selves in their wickedness if they can have it to say that they did but as their Fathers did before them. For as wo to those Parents who have set such bad and hurtful Examples before their Children, so, wo to those Children who harden them Selves to following them therein. God causes it to be mentioned as an aggravation and a provoking Evil when there has been a string of them that have wrought wickedness before Him, from one Generation to another. Jer. 9.14 and Ch. 23.27 and Mal. 3.7. If therefore God has given you to see that such and Such Failings etc., were in your Family, in your progenitors or in your immediate Fathers—see that you Confess it and beg the forgiveness thereof at the Hand of God (Dan. 9.8) and look upon your Selves as bound to reform from it. Otherwise it will be most just and reasonable and very much to be expected that God Should visit the Iniquitys of the Father upon the Children under the 3d and 4 Generation when they continue to hate him and hold the practice of their old sins. But parents are to be imitated in all that was good and vertuous, and well pleasing in the Sight of God. The Command here runs like what St. Paul, their Spiritual Father said to the Philippians and to the Corinthians. Phil. 3.17. 1 Cor. 11.1. We must follow the Examples of our Parents, but it must be as they have followed God. When Parents Excellencys and Graces are copyed by Children they Shine the brighter. And there can be no greater Honour than this to Succeed them in what was the most truely Valuable and Worthy. How Splendid it makes that part of the Character of the Kings, Solomon, Asa, Hezekiah, Josiah, that they followed the Steps of David, that they walked in the ways of David their Father? Such is an happy and illustrious Race, where wisdom and Goodness are cultivated and improved, propagated and continued down in posterity. I have not made a distinct Article that Children must Pray for their Parents: This must be settled in General to be the Duty of Every Relation. To bear all those upon their Breasts before God for whom they have a most peculiar Esteem and affection, and unto whom they are most closely bound and obliged. But now when I have gone over all these great and weighty Dutys of Children to their Parents, O that Children would attend to them to know them and to do them! For what else will it signifie that these Things are so clearly and largely laid forth to your Understanding, if you do not bend your minds to them to perceive them and Observe them? You must therefore be Exhorted to Shew due Respect hereto; and I pray you let it be Evident as to each part of the Duty I have treated of. To Engage and prevail upon you the more Effectually I shall undertake

II. Serm. iv.

The Second main Division of the Discourse. Which is to lay before you divers Arguments which Perswade thereto. A principal of which is inserted in the Text, and this shall therefore be the first that I shall make use of; but I pray you would in the fear of God attend to them all.

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Arg. 1.

First then, Children Should Observe their Duty to their Parents, Because This is Right, Saith the

Apostle. All Reason and Justice call for it. There is all sort of Law for it. Not only the Law of God of which I will Speak by it Self presently, but the Law of Nature itself requires it. This is a Law that all Nations are invariable in—Nay it is so imprinted in Nature that (as has been hinted already) the inferior Animals feel the force of it. Indeed it is altogether Necessary; for without this how would the Young be brought up. But with Rational Beings this Observance Should be paid from this Principle that it is Right, that it is most due and most fit. Now this it is on the

1. (1. following Accounts. First, It is Right, because they are the Authors of our Being. That is under
2. God. For to Him alone we are indebted the most Supremely. But God has made our Parents the Instruments of bringing us into Existence, and since we owe it so much to them that ever we were in Being at all, I’m sure we are more obliged and beholden to them than to any Body else on the Face of the whole Earth. Our whole Life Should contain acknowledgments to those
3. (2. that gave us our Life at First. Again, our Duty to our Parents is what is Right, because, Secondly
4. They have done So much for us, respecting the Sustaining and preserving that Life they gave us. All the Care they took of us whilst tenderest and feeblest, and whilst unable to take the least Care of our Selves; all the Provision they have made for us, and the continual Supplys from them. All that they have born and undergone for us, the Pain and Labour, the deep solicitude and Expenses which they have not thought much of for us; and the strong affection which they had had for us, bespeak the gratefullest Returns from us that we can pay to them in all Things, all our Days; nor Shall we be ever able to yield them an even Recompense, do what we can. With how great Reason then doth St. Paul injoin the Duty of Children upon them from this motive? For this is Right.

Children, Let it therefore Strongly Induce you hereto. Yield to your Parents the Duty you owe them from this Principle action in your Breasts, that this is Right. Again, as it is what is Right, so

Ar. 2.

Secondly, You must bear it in Mind that it is God’s Express Command. [Marginal words: If I

have not said this already, yet I would now Strive to have you to feel the weight of this Consideration.]5 It is not only one of those great Articles that are called the Ten Words, delivered in a most awful Manner from Mt. Sinai, but is the very First of those that Shew our Duty to Man. Now its being one of these positive Laws of God of Standing and every lasting Obligation it must be kept. There cannot be any real Goodness where such a great Law as this is willfully broken. You must Endeavor (My Children) to impress your Minds with this that the Great God will not have His Strong and Solemn Commands disobeyed. But you must consider that to Disobey your Parents, or not to Honour and Reverence them and submit to them is a Disobeying God and it is a Disobeying Him in a Commandment that He has delivered very plain; and very often. So that the Guilt will be very great; and more especially if those Children should be guilty of it who have been very Solemnly Devoted to God and bound and obliged to keep to all his Laws.

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Arg. 3.

In the Third place, Childrens Obeying and Honouring their Parents is Well-pleasing to

God. This is the Argument which the Apostle improves to the Coloss. 3.20. Every piece of hearty Obedience to the Command of God is acceptable and pleasing to Him. Thus we read that the Lord loveth the Righteous, his Countenance beholdeth, that is with Complacency and Delight, the Upright: And it is a great Thing to be able to please God. It is a great Favour when God will vouchsafe to enable any one hereto, and when He will Condescend So far as to be pleased with any of us. It was to the high Honour of Enoch that he obtained this Testimony that he pleased God. Heb. 11.5. O how happy they are who have obtained Such Grace that they have had this Character! How much more should we value the Privilege and Distinction which we are thereby dignifyed with, that if we Should be let into the particular Affections or had gained the Esteem of the greatest Potentator upon Earth? But here is a peculiar Emphasis Set upon this Article. God takes a particular Notice of it and is in a Singular Manner pleased with the good Dutifull Dispositions and Deportment of Children to their Parents. Now methinks this Should greatly allure and engage you hereto. That God is so well pleased with this is very evident by what I would have you Consider.

Ar. 4.

Fourthly, That God has made a peculiar and Special Promise to encourage Obedience to this

Command; and it is remarked that this is the first Commandment with Promise. The Promise is that Such should have long Life and Prosperity. That thy Days may be long etc. Here the word is That it may be well with Thee etc. It is the First Commandment to which there is a special and Express Promise. Every Commandment has implyed in it a Promise and a Threatning. But this has it in so many words plainly. And it is to be found also in Deut. 5.16. Children are likely to be most moved with what is most directly before them and strikes their Senses, what affects their Life in this world. This Promise is suited to their Capacity, in this Respect fitted to work upon their minds and engage them the most Effectually. In the Commandment it was said to the Israelites that thou mayst live long upon the Land etc.: because their prosperity in the Land of Canaan was Typical and a Pledge of Superior Spiritual and heavenly and Eternal Blessings; and many are apt to measure the Love and favour of God nowadays by what Providence is pleased to dispense to them in outward respects. But this we are taught we ought not to do absolutely: for as much as Spiritual and Everlasting Blessings do much better suit the Gospel state, are infinitely preferable and therefore They are the greatest Tokens of Gods best Love and Affection: not but that to be Religious is the best Method that can be taken to live well, and truely pleasantly in this pre-

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sent World. Thus St. Paul wrote to Timothy, 1 Tim. 4.8, that Godliness is profitable unto all Things, having the Promise etc. And you remember what the Wise Solomon said of the ways of Piety and Godliness which he calls wisdom, that her ways are ways of pleasantness etc. Prov. 3.17. God many Times seen meet greatly to bless and prosper those who are his Sincere servants even in their worldly Circumstances; Succeeds their undertakings and his good providence many ways engages for them and Smiles upon them and the Practice of divers Vertues do in their own Nature tend to the lengthening of Life and the Blessings thereof; and Some vertues and Graces are in some Special Manner rewarded by God in this Life. Read Ps. 34.12.13—which words St. Peter also improves in 1 Ep. 3.10. But the 5^th Commandment will not let Children when they have been dutiful to their Parents go unprovided for. They Shall, in a peculiar manner, be taken Care of. The Hebrews have taken Notice that there are four Things which have Reward in both worlds, Honor and obedience to Parents, Beneficence to the necessitous, Hospitality (or Entertaining of Strangers) and Endeavours to reconcile such as are at variance. Among these you see that the First is the Article of Honour and Obedience to Parents. And it may appear very proper to promise those Long Life who dutifully behave towards Such as have been towards them the Instruments of Life.

Qu.

But you ask me whether this Promise is so to be understood as that God would certainly grant

Long Life and Prosperity also to all such as Obey their Parents? And doth God fulfill this Promise in such a Manner as that we may depend upon receiving Temporal Blessings in plenty and long Continuance? Or how are we to understand the Promise that we may know what we may expect.

An. Ans:

That God is true to His word and fulfilleth His Promises we may never Doubt, being He is

most unchangeable, nor with Him any Shadow of Turning. Therefore it may not Humble you that Some that are very vicious live long, grow old in Wickedness and have remarkable Success and Prosperity; and that manty of those who are pious and obedient to God and their Parents are soon brought to Death. Neither did they that little Time they did live, enjoy much Comfort and Happiness, but were in low afflicted Circumstances all their Lives. I Say this may not disquiet any; the same being to be said still that was Spoke by the Psalmist in Ps. 37; and which we have again in Ps. 73. For, as Solomon has observed, there is, taking the General Nature and Course of the Divine Dispensations in this world, but one Event to the Righteous and to the Wicked and all Things come alike to all; So that no one knoweth infallibly Love or Hatred by these Things; But yet if we (as he did) consider well in our Hearts, we shall declare with him also, and satisfie our Selves with it, that the Righteous and the wise and their works are in the Hand of God. See Eccl. 2.14, Ch. 9.1.2. But we may fully understand the promise thus, that Such to whom God hath made it not only have a Right to it; but shall obtain the fulfillment of it. Yet here are Several Things to be minded. First, The Man that comes up to his Duty in this point, perhaps falls

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So very Short in some number of Articles more, that every Benefit by Obedience which is so partial and scanty is forfeited. For St. James minds us that he that offends in one point is guilty of all: Therefore before we can fairly plead our Right in this or that particular let us see that we do not provoke God in some Other. Again, Let us Consider that the fulfillment of the promise is meant to be a Blessing, and Men hope that God will confer a Benefit in it: Nay but sometimes God sees and knows that Long Life in this world, and a State very prosperous and flourishing, would be their undoing: But an Afflicted Condition, to some Tempers and Constitutions will be the greatest Mercy. In such a Case God grants only such a Measure of Prosperity, and to live so long as shall be the best, and then, in great Faithfulness and Loving kindness takes them out of the world. How shall any one desire a literal fulfillment if they must then be cursed with Life, and if they must have this worlds Goods which will be a Snare and bring them into Destruction. But so far forth as it Shall be best for them So far those who are entitled thereto will not miss thereof. God knows our make and Frame and when He sees that the literal fulfillment of the Promise will be a Trap and Detriment to us, would We in our senses so bind Him to the Letter as thereby to pull down upon our Selves the greatest Evils? Thus therefore God some times takes us from our Enjoyments or from the world, that they may not take us from Him, and endanger our Eternal Happiness. But I have said that whenever God finds it shall be a Blessing to us, then our Right in Special will be punctually, will be strictly come up to; and sometimes God has seen meet to fulfill this Promise observably in this Life, and Succeeds above others and lengthens out the Days, of those that have been Dutiful to their Parents. But in Covenant Faithfulness God will take Care to proportion the Blessings. For it must be well minded that our Text is thus phrased That it may go well with Thee etc.: God will be faithful and see to it that it go well with such—But then it must go Spiritually and everlasting well in the main place; and then Temporally well also, as that will be consistent with and no hurt to the former. It will be best to live long in that heavenly Canaan which the Lord thy God giveth thee; and God will take Care as to this present Life that you in peculiar shall not want any good Thing. Any such good Thing as you your Selves if you were perfectly wise and knowing would desire to have. Do you object Still that in Case God sees meet to take the Obedient and Dutiful and vertuous out of the World in Youth how is the promise of this Command fulfilled respecting this Life although it is in another; for how is it fulfilled in any thing but the Thing promised? Answer. Besides what has been said consider that he that having promised Silver, payeth in Gold, is never thought to break his promise; if he promiseth but little and giveth much more, he is not only Supposed to fulfill his Promise, but to do

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it abundantly. [The following appears under “Addition to page 18” on a separate page: Sometimes God punisheth persons for their Rebelliousness against their Parents, by their own Childrens Rebelliousness. I remember a story, Says Bp. Hopk. upon this of a Godless and Desperate young wretch, who being thwarted by his aged Father in some of his Lewd Pranks, invaded His Grey Hairs, and dragged him by them along the Ground to the very Threshold of his Door: his poor old Father Suffered it silently till then; but then looking pitifully upon him, he said; Son, forbear now, and let me go, for I remember I dragged my Father to this very place, and there left him, and then acknowledged the righteous Judgment of Gold in so just a Requital. Bp. Hopk. p. 141.6] In one Word, those who Shall approve them Selves Obedient and Dutiful to their Parents out of Obedience to the Command of God, may depend upon it that God will do particularly well by them for it; they Shall in a peculiar Manner be rewarded for it, and even in this world, some way or other, unless God shall find that That would be hurtful to them and He can do much better for them. So that all that can be said in opposition will neither be able to weaken Gods Faithfulness, nor Shew that God will not be as good as His word, nor can it prove any Thing but that this is a very peculiar Promise which God will see to it shall be fulfilled which, if considered well, is a most powerful Inducement to persons to Honour their Parents. And it will be further Strengthened by the Consideration of the Opposite Argument to this Scil:

Ar. 5.

Fifthly, that God Has shewn great displeasure at the Disobedience of Children to their Parents.

God has manifested that great Displeasure Three several ways and each of them fearfull.

1. 1. The Punishment appointed by the Law of God for Disobedience which was Stoning to Death. Deut. 21.18. Now this shews what a Crime God thinks it to be.
2. 2. Gods Displeasure appears in the Severe Threatnings and Cautions against it. Deut. 27.16 and Prov. 30.17. Those Two places, one would Think Should be enough to deter the most resolute youth from what will so dreadfully expose him.
3. 3. By the fearful Examples of Gods Judgments upon disobedient Children, and who have not honoured their Parents. As upon Ham. Gen. Gen. [sic] 9.25. Reuben. Ch. 35.22 and 49.4. Hophni and Phinehas. 1 Sam. 2.25 and ch. 4.11. Absalom, whom, having rebelled against his own and against Such a Father and King, the Earth would not bear him, the Heavens were ashamed of him and therefore was hung up for a Monument by the wrath of God by the Hair of his Head, betwixt Heaven and Earth till Joab came and thrust his Darts into his Heart. 2 Sam. 18. And how great Numbers of those that have been So graceless as to Despise and rebell against their Parents and insult them, hath God in Judgment Severally recompenced in his holy Providence [insertion marked with #: Not that men may from hence take the Liberty in their imitating God to alter the Articles of their promises into others, which they judge (perhaps for their own Interest) is as good or better—because We cannot be such Judges of these Things as God is etc. For then great Evil might answer.]—and some hath judicially left—and they have soon been abandoned to wickedness and brought to untimely Ends?

Let all Children then beware how they carry it to their Parents. The Disobedient are to be charged Solemnly etc.

—Nay let all persons Examine how their Conduct has been.

—Where there has been undue behavior let bitter Repentance and hearty amendment recover you, and beg God’s Pardoning Mercy and their Parents also. Dare not to go on etc.

—Where there has been a Dutiful Spirit and Carriage, God be pleased to encourage and increase and confirm you in it and take the Encouragement God designs you by his word and Promises and Providences.

To Conclude: See that your Obedience to Parents be in the Lord q. d. out of Obedience to the Lord.

Note: On the previous page (“Addition to page 18”), there is a second insertion, marked by two carets (i.e., ^^), one over the other. Parkman did not indicate on p. 18 where this insertion should be added:

No. 2. How unnaturall is Rebellion against Parents? For Shall their own Bowels rise against them.

How cruelly ungratefull? It brings their Grey Hairs with sorrow to the Grave.

How unwise? To deprive your Selves of their Blessing and of Gods Blessing; to expose your Selves to their Cruse and to Gods also—and all such are in Danger of being made Examples of Gods Judgment even in this world.